Done. Check the Box. Well, Not Really

Last week I wrote about The Episcopal Church’s short term memory once we have enacted legislation, especially when it pertains to issues of justice, inclusion and prejudice. There is another aspect of that concept that plays out in how well others really understand us as queer folk. Some folks “get” us and some do not… I’m inclined toward the numbers of those who do not being at least a plurality, if not a majority.

This mentality goes back to what I call the “check box” mentality of our church. That is the mentality that lets us get away with thinking such thoughts as: “We have women’s ordination, so we have addressed and resolved that “issue.” Notions about the deployment of women clergy are no where on the radar screen. The “glass ceiling” related to compensation and benefits didn’t get in the conversation either. How many women fill the positions of cardinal rectors? We changed the canons. Done. Check the box. Well... not really.

We do the same thing about issues of race. We tout our canons that prohibit discrimination in every aspect of the life of our church. But again, where are we on deployment? Having people of color in visible roles of leadership does not mean that we find the same allegedly welcoming attitude at the diocesan and parish level. Because we have passed our canons, we have resolved the “race issue.” So why do I still see the need for training and education on what it means to be the beloved community? Why do we still need to have anti-racism workshops and training? Why are the percentages of people of color, not to mention those in ordained positions way below the percentages of the general population? We passed the canons. Done. Check the box. Well… not really.

Now we come to issues about sexual orientation/gender identity/gender expression. Again, we passed those canons prohibiting discrimination in all aspects of the life of the church including ordination and now even marriage. So….where does that put us? Yes we have some LGBTQ+ folks in leadership in the church at all levels. What does that mean? Did some of them “pass” to get where they are? Are some of them simply tokens to appease general opinion? Back to deployment: How many visible calls are made to LGBTQ+ clergy outside very large metropolitan areas? Two queer bishops is an indicator of the presence of LGBTQ+ people in our church. We passed our canons. Done. Check the box. Well… not really as is evidenced by the situation in the Diocese of Tennessee and seven others.

So why would I ever think that so many just do not “get” us queer folk (anymore than they “get” women clergy and people of color)? It isn’t a long journey to take to answer that question. Aside from the less than tolerant current political climate, having a cisgender white male wonder (sometimes aloud even) why the gays and lesbians and trans folks cannot and do not grow into a perspective other than that of who they are, namely gay, lesbian or transgender? Seriously?

You are going to ask me why I am not willing or not capable of viewing things beyond what you think is my limited perspective as a gay man? Would you ask a black person why they cannot view a perspective other than being black? (In reality many probably would, but let’s not go there for now). Would you ask a woman to view things from a male (invariably white) perspective? (I can pretty much guarantee that many would ask that question based solely on what has been going on for months now about sexual harassment.)

Kindred in Christ, we really do have some serious work to do! And it is not just for us queer folk that we need to do this work. It is for all who would claim to follow Christ and meet with an attitude that finds only one perspective, one race, one cisgender, one sexual orientation to be “the norm.” Our work is for everyone who encounters an attitude that they need to change their outlook and perspective to more closely align with those of the perceived majority. The work is not done. There is no box to check.

What will it take for us to rise up and say that it’s time that we as a church start learning more about what it is like to be the other instead of asking the other why their perspective is so limited? Again, I see this as the ministry of lay people. We have nothing to lose by asking pointed questions. Our ministries, our vocations, our salaries are not on the line. We CAN ask the difficult questions and continue to ask until we get real answers. I would hope that those answers would be based on the ministry given us in the Gospel and in the vows of our Baptismal Covenant.

Do you think we're done? Should we check the box?

So I will close with yet another (probably maddening) question: When will you start asking why the way things continue to remain the way they are for so much of our church? When?

Bruce Garner, President

Integrity USA ... The Episcopal Rainbow