Comedy and Tragedy Unmasked - Reflections on Robin Williams' Passing

Integrity Board member Mel Soriano posted a reflection on his personal blog about the passing of fellow Episcopalian and marriage equality supporter Robin Williams. An excerpt is shared below. The full blog posting reflecting on depression, suicide, and pastoral care can be found at "Let All Who Are Thirsty Come".






I was a teenager when Robin Williams first appeared on Happy Days. The role was a cooky one but for some inexplicable reason they spun it into a show. Oh, and what a show. I loved Mork and Mindy, but not just because of the humor. His characterization of Mork as a child-like space alien touched because he wore his heart on his sleeve. Mork was honest, sharing, and curious.

Since then, Robin Williams' movie legacy has been not only extensive but surprisingly deep and particularly broad. His range was tremendous. From manic to sensitive, from restrained to loving, he carried it all. I was flat out stunned at his and John Lithgow's grasp of the characters in World According to Garp. Later on, he impressed in Good Morning Vietnam and brought me to tears in Dead Poets Society. Even in the over the top The Birdcage, he brought an amazing restraint to Armand Coleman/Coldman/Goldman that made his love for his partner more tangible. This was in the day when marriage equality was treated as a novelty, rather than something with truly emotional and loving underpinnings.

Oh, and I nearly fell off the Golden Gate bridge one time as we passed each other on bicycles and I froze in awe - not a smart thing to do on a bicycle over the San Francisco Bay.

Why am I reflecting on my fellow Episcopalian's passing? Because underneath this outward genius was apparently a pained and hurt individual. We can't diagnose from afar, but his substance abuse was likely linked to the underlying emotional burden. He carried his demons with him into his marriages, and we didn't have access to his tears off-screen.


To read the entire blog posting, visit "Let All Who Are Thirsty Come".

Mel Soriano

Integrity Board of Directors (Director of Communications, Secretary)

Vestry/Coventry Choir/Taizé/Labyrinth All Saints Pasadena

facebook.com/melsoriano

twitter.com/melsoriano

letallwhoarethirstycome.blogspot.com

On Valentine's Day, Not Everybody's Dancing

LGBT Christians have had much to celebrate recently... the number of states providing legal marriage quality has pretty much doubled, and other countries have followed suit.  About two-thirds of the domestic dioceses of our church are using -- in some fashion -- the official rite for blessing same-gender relationships that was adopted by resolution at the 2012 General Convention.

"Looking for Love" by Alan Cleaver
Used under Creative Commons License

But as our culture holds up all things romantic and our welcoming congregations greet happy LGBT couples with open arms, it is important to remember that not everybody has a partner, and not everybody is celebrating. Single LGBT people have their own pastoral needs, particularly because their secular lives can be a bit of a battleground.

I wrote recently in my personal blog about how smart-phone apps have turned gay male dating into a GPS-powered scavenger hunt where a stamp-sized photo and the right set of acronyms are your only tools. Those who don't resemble the airbrushed images that saturate gay-targeted media find themselves at a disadvantage where the self-appointed top of the hierarchy are young, muscular, Caucasian and (distressingly) "straight-acting". Among the rest of us is a self-defeating tendency to idolize that which we are not, and our desirability is dependent on the degree to which we can "pass".

For a whole lot of reasons, our folks are statistically more likely to be unemployed, homeless, addicted and depressed, not because there is something inherently wrong with them; we just frequently have a tougher row to hoe, and it takes a toll.  As we know, the church traditionally bears some responsibility for this collateral damage, and thus we need to have a role in healing as well.  Even those who are coping nicely, thank you, would appreciate to be intentionally and specifically included in your programs and prayers.

As your congregation reviews its wedding customary to include same-gender couples and makes plans to observe Pride, please be mindful to include the whole LGBT community, not just those with shiny new rings.

Christian Paolino is the Chair of Integrity's Stakeholders' Council and Diocesan Organizer for Newark.