Expanding Welcome in Virginia Beach

Earlier this summer, as a service project in preparation for PrideFest, the Virginia Beach chapter of Integrity sent a mailing to each of the 105 churches in the Diocese of Southern Virginia asking if they would like to be identified as a Welcoming Congregation. A stamped postcard with yes, no and contact us was also included so the churches could easily return them. The chapter received 29 responses.


We took the positive responses and added them to our website, http://integritydiosova.blogspot.com/ and created the Welcoming Churches list. We also created a handout and placed the congregations on a map for use at the Integrity booth at our annual PrideFest celebration. The handout and map were well received at PrideFest by the folks who visited the booth.

We also received a couple of invitations from churches to come and help educate others on what it meant to be a welcoming congregation and why it was important. This past Sunday, Board Member, Tina Finnerty and Chapter Convener, Susan Pederson visited the Church of the Ascension in Norfolk and spoke to the Adult Forum class. The church vestry voted to be identified as a welcoming congregation but had questions about why it was important.

“While it is great to be welcoming, unless others know, LGBT folks won’t know where it is safe for them to worship,” shared Tina who told her story of her own search for a welcoming congregation for her and her wife a couple years ago. “When I found a congregation nearby, I sent an email to the rector and asked if we would be welcome because there was nothing specific on their website, though there was a link to Rev. Susan Russell’s blog. I received an affirmative answer and we started attending that parish. Six months later we were both confirmed. Since that time, we have made changes to our website and now it is clearly posted that we are a welcoming congregation and we are presently waiting the official designation from Believe Out Loud.”

“The Virginia Beach Chapter of Integrity has a responsibility to our community, the Diocese and the LGBT folks in our area. We want to let everyone know that they are unconditionally loved by God, and that everyone can find a safe place to worship in an Episcopal Church in our Diocese,” Susan told the audience. “We’re here to help you on your journey to see just how that looks for Ascension.”

Tina Finnerty is a Board Member of the Virginia Beach Chapter of Integrity

Integrity Idaho Celebrates Ten Years!

A number of years ago, the now-Rev. Deborah Graham approached both LGBT and ally members of St. Michael’s Cathedral in Boise, ID about developing a chapter of Integrity in the Diocese of Idaho.  With a tremendous amount of hard work, and determination, the Idaho chapter of Integrity USA was chartered in October of 2004.

As we venture into our second decade of service to the Diocese of Idaho and her LGBT parishioners, we take time to reflect on what we have accomplished.

• The first item of importance was to create a safe place for LGBT members and their allies to gather and enjoy fellowship.  We have now established a tradition of monthly gatherings.  We enjoy a potluck meal, followed by some sort of activity or simply just converse.   Activities have included game nights, movie nights, and even dance lessons (we have wedding receptions to get ready for!).
• Established a presence at Boise Pride celebration.  We have made ourselves available to the general public, so that we could let them know that there are welcoming congregations in the area.
• Being part of the community-at-large, we found ourselves in the unique position to advise congregations and the general public on LGBT issues.  Concurrently, we were able to help our LGBT faithful to be more outspoken and identifiable in their parishes and communities, while creating a safe haven for worship.
• As part of our monthly gatherings, we led a series of discussions based on Candace Chellew-Hodge’s book Bulletproof Faith:  A Spiritual Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians.  This gave us the opportunities to share our own journeys of faith and learn how to be more compassionate with others that did not share our views. 
• To reach out to our host congregation, St. Michael’s Cathedral, we organized what became known as 'legendary coffee hours'.  One such fell on the Sunday before Ash Wednesday, so it was a Mardi Gras theme, complete with fresh beignets!  While we don’t do these on quite the same scale, we do still offer the occasional coffee hour as a thank you to our congregations.
• In 2011, we created a membership survey to see how we are doing and what we can do better.  This gave us a good idea as to what our members were thinking about Integrity Idaho and allowed us to set new goals to help fulfill our mission. 
• We have been sponsors for the Lions Pride Cubs (an LGBT youth group in Idaho) annual winter dance.  This gave us an opportunity to reach out to LGBT youth in our area and give them a safe and welcoming place to gather.
• We created our own Facebook page!  This gives us more access to the public by having a presence on social media.  Go ahead and give us a like!  Find us at www.facebook.com/integrityidaho 

So here we are a decade later, so where do we go from here?  Thankfully, we have a loving, caring Bishop that is very supportive of our mission.  With his blessing, we are working hard to further our presence in the Diocese of Idaho.  Here is what we are currently working on and watching out for:

• We are launching a new web page!  What makes this exciting for us is that we have never had real presence on the web.  We are certainly mentioned, but there has not been anything that gives people a direct resource or contact to us.  We hope to launch our new page by November 1.  Be sure to check us out on the web at http://integrity.episcopalidaho.org 
• Currently in Idaho, there are several political issues on the horizon that we are keeping a very close eye on and speaking out when necessary.  The first being the issue regarding Idaho’s same-sex marriage ban.  This ban was recently struck down and is currently working its way through the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals.  As you may be aware, the 9th Circuit did issue their ruling, stating that the Idaho ban was illegal.  However, a stay from SCOTUS has been issued therefore; marriages in Idaho are on hold.  We are certainly hopeful for a positive outcome, and continue to pray that these justices will see just how important this is for Idaho and her citizens.  In response to the Governor and Attorney General’s continuing to defend the ban, Integrity Idaho did publish an open letter on October 8.  This letter will be made available on our web page upon its launch.

UPDATE:  On Wednesday, October 15, 2014 at 10AM MST – MARRIAGE EQUALITY COMES TO IDAHO!  All stays have been lifted, and the Governor and Attorney General, while still opposed to lifting the ban on same-sex marriage, have dropped their legal maneuvers to continue this unconstitutional mandate.

• Another issue that is taking precedence here in Idaho, is the 'Add the Words' movement.  The goal of this movement is to add the words ‘sexual orientation and gender identity’ to the current Idaho Civil Rights Statute.  These four simple words would offer protections for GLBT persons so that they could not be fired from their jobs, be discriminated against for housing, among many other protections.  The problem is that for the last nine years, the Idaho Legislature has refused to even hold a hearing on the bill.  In January of this year, Integrity Idaho sent an open letter to all Idaho Legislators including Governor C. L. "Butch" Otter.  While our letter was welcomed by those law makers that are in favor of this legislation, we received a rather cold response from Idaho’s Republican majority.  That does not mean that we are giving up!  We are working to foster a conversation with law makers on both sides of the aisle.  This also came on the heels of Idaho’s so-called 'Religious Freedom' bills, that if passed would have allowed hate and discrimination in the name of 'personally held religious beliefs'.  When these bills came up in committee, over 500 people turned out to speak in opposition of this legislation.  Among those to testify to the committee were our own Bishop, the Rt. Rev. Brian Thom, and Integrity Idaho co-director, Susan Bolen.
• We recognize that due to the current political climate within our state, it is now more important than ever to identify welcoming and affirming congregations, regardless of denomination.  We are currently working on a plan to identify these congregations in conjunction with the Believe Out Loud program. We will start by working with our own Diocese, and then we will broaden our scope to identify other faiths that are welcoming and affirming by working with the Interfaith Equality Coalition (based in Boise, ID).  While goals for this have not yet been set, we anticipate having our plan defined and in place by the first of the year.

We give thanks to God for our 10th anniversary, working for inclusion and acceptance of all of God’s children in the Diocese of Idaho.  We pray for another successful ten years to come.

Nik Dumas and Susan Bolen are the Co-Directors / Co-Conveners of Integrity Idaho

Live Out Loud: An Interview with the Rev. Stephanie Spellers

If you, or your parish leadership, is not sure why Integrity is asking you to consider becoming a Believe Out Loud Episcopal Congregation, we commend to you this short (12 minute) interview between Neil Houghton, our former Vice-President for Local Affairs and an ongoing collaborator on the Believe Out Loud workshop curriculum, and the Rev. Stephanie Spellers, a prophetic voice for radical inclusion.

Stephanie helped found the Crossing emergent-church community which is resident at St. Paul's Cathedral in Boston, and is now on the staff of the Diocese of Long Island.  She's also the author of Radical Welcome: Embracing God, The Other, and the Spirit of Transformation, described as "at once a theological, inspirational, and practical guide for congregations that want to move beyond diversity and inclusion to present a vision for the church of the future: one where the transforming gifts, voices and power of marginalized cultures and groups bring new life to the mainline church."

In her conversation with Neil, Stephanie counters common questions like "We're afraid if we do this, they'll call us 'the gay church!'"  We hope her message leaves you inspired and energized to explore the welcoming church movement and what it can mean for your congregation.

Goodbye to David Cupps

David Cupps

The new year is always an exciting time. We get to look forward to new futures and new possibilities. This New Year's is a little bittersweet though. After more than three years of excellent service on the staff of Integrity, our Operations Manager, David Cupps, will be moving on to new opportunities.

We are sad to see him go. He has served as the core for many systems and groups that have not only served Integrity well, but that have served the Episcopal Church well. “During the year when we had no Executive Director, David really kept the organization going, and I depended on him for his wisdom, knowledge, and leadership as well as for doing everything it takes to make Integrity run smoothly,” said the Rev. Dr. Caroline Hall, president of Integrity's Board of Directors.

Among David's major contributions to Integrity during his tenure was the development, in collaboration with former VP-Local Affairs Neil Houghton and our ecumenical partners at the Institute for Welcoming Resources, of the curriculum for the many Believe Out Loud congregational workshops which hundreds of people have been attending across the country. 

After experimenting with a 'virtual' office for several years, with David based in his hometown in Kentucky and our Executive Director first in New Orleans and then in Georgia, the Board decided, with advice from a consultant, that having the Executive Director and the main administrative team in the same geographical location creates an important synergy. This led to a restructuring of the staff and a move away from Kentucky. It was not an easy decision, knowing that David would not personally be able to make the move.

From providing structure to our operations center at General Convention 2012 to managing the logistics of so many Believe Out Loud trainings to getting the Friday Flash out every week, David was there time and time again. We are deeply grateful for the work he has done to make the transition to Executive Director Vivian Taylor and Office Administrator Katie Omberg as smooth as possible.

Dr. Hall continued, “David stepped in to take on Integrity's administrative and program management when we needed a knowledgeable person at short notice, and did a wonderful job. He has been the eye at the center of the storm for many years, answering all inquiries with gentle efficiency, remaining on call even on vacation, and managing a zillion priorities at once. I will miss his calm voice at the other end of the phone and his gentle optimism in the face of difficulties.”

Goodbye and best of luck, David. Thank you for everything you have done for us. God bless all your future work and life.

Bishops' Forum on LGBT Inclusion in Kansas City

In June of this year, the Greater Kansas City Integrity chapter hosted a "Believe Out Loud" workshop. The Integrity members and other participants left that workshop all fired up about the opportunities that have been generated by the approval of same-sex blessings and the greater awareness of LGBT participation in our Episcopal parishes. We were introduced to evangelism techniques customized to reach out to a community that had been ignored and, worse yet, abused by Christian churches for a very long time.

The Right Rev. Martin Field, the Right Rev. Dean Wolfe

Although there were a few parishes in our two-state metropolitan area that had embraced the new reality and were celebrating blessings, the vast majority of our congregations were silent and slow to react. We spoke with the bishops of the two dioceses that cover the Kansas City area. The Right Rev. Dean E. Wolfe, D.D., of the Diocese of Kansas, and the Right Rev. Martin Field of the Diocese of West Missouri were supportive of our efforts and they agreed to sponsor a forum for clergy and lay leadership. They asked us to develop the agenda for this unique two bishop forum and we went to work.

We began by interviewing parish priests and asking them how Integrity could help them develop a welcoming environment for LGBT persons in their congregation. We told them about the techniques that we had experienced at the Believe Out Loud workshop. The members who had these conversations with the priests knew them well and were surprised by the apparent lack of interest in what we were offering.

Integrity Greater Kansas City Chapter Convener Scott Schaefer
with the Right Rev. Martin Field & the Right Rev. Dean Wolfe

The more that we probed in our preparation for the forum, we discovered that it was not a lack of interest – it was conscious foot dragging and a fear of adverse reactions in their congregations. We heard comments like, "My congregation is OK with this issue and we don’t need to do anything special." When asked how they might have prepared the parish for the approval of blessings by General Convention, the response was usually the same – "We didn’t need to do anything special." We were pretty sure that was not a valid assessment. After all, the states of Kansas and Missouri are not exactly hotbeds of liberalism. Both States adopted constitutional amendments banning anything other than traditional marriages.

Other priests were frank in saying that they did not want to stir up the sexuality debate and they feared the loss of valued parishioners, especially in the older generation. It was becoming clear to us that the parishes were not ready for our Believe Out Loud excitement. We needed to double back and deal with the anxiety among parish leadership over the topic of overt inclusion of LGBT persons. In other words, the passage of legislation by General Convention did not resolve the underlying issues.

The Right Rev. Martin Field, The Right Rev. Dean Wolfe

With this knowledge, we changed the theme of the forum and advertised it as an opportunity for clergy and lay leadership to have an open and honest conversation with their bishops and fellow leaders with respect to the opportunities and challenges arising from increased LGBT participation in their congregations. Apparently this struck a responsive chord and we were pleased to have an attendance of 65 persons representing 16 parishes. And this was on a Thursday night in early September – not prime time!

Bishop Field opened the forum with a reminder that the full inclusion of LGBT brothers and sisters was a "Gospel imperative" and that we as leaders in the Church needed to move forward on this initiative in the name of Christ. Bishop Wolfe, in his opening remarks, spoke about the "missed opportunity cost" that would be incurred if we were reluctant to take hold of this opportunity to make major strides in establishing our parishes as places that practice radical hospitality – especially in the context of the cultural conflicts that exist in our Midwest environment.

Following the encouraging remarks from the Bishops, the microphones were opened for brief responses from those in attendance. There next followed a very active small group discussion period among the attendees as they shared their individual parish experiences. The Forum closed with reports from the table discussions to the plenary session.

The Right Rev. Martin Field, The Right Rev. Dean Wolfe

The exchanges that occurred during this two-hour Forum were very encouraging. The participants were all supportive of the effort, but were also very frank and open in sharing their concerns. One of the conclusions stated during the discussions was that silence within the congregation cannot be taken as consensus. Bishop Wolfe suggested an analogy to our history with racism. In the 1940s and 1950s it was not uncommon for church members to openly engage in racist remarks and humor. It is difficult to comprehend now that some Episcopal congregations were openly opposed to civil rights initiatives. As the prevailing secular culture changed, the opponents of racial equality became silent but they did not go away; they merely went underground and racism is still with us today. Congregations need to be aware of this same tendency in today’s issues of sexuality and find creative ways to engage the silent members who still have unresolved concerns. However, we cannot let those silent concerns stand in the way of the opportunity that is before us.

Integrity, as a sponsor and participant in the forum, was able to express our desire to join with the individual parishes to give them whatever support and assistance we can to help them move forward with their desire to gather and incorporate new LGBT members. We are hopeful that the communication lines that have been established from this forum will give our chapter a new focus for our ministry in the Dioceses of Kansas and Missouri.
 
Larry J. Bingham is a member of the Greater Kansas City chapter of Integrity. He served as a Lay Deputy to seven consecutive General Conventions from 1994 through 2012. In 2012, he was a member of the Legislative Committee on Liturgy, Prayer Book and Church Music and served on the Subcommittee for Same-Sex Blessings. 

Photo credit: Melodie Woerman, Communications Officer for the Diocese of Kansas

Steve Kimball: This is My Story, This is My Song

This personal narrative came out of the Believe Out Loud Congregational Workshop that Integrity held at Christ Church: Norwich in the Diocese of Connecticut in June, led by Province I Coordinator Marie Alford-Harkey and Neil Houghton.  Effective storytelling is a powerful evangelism tool, and one of the modules of the workshop.

I have had a conscious and personal relationship with God through Jesus since 1975. This relationship has been a life changing experience. Most of the influence of the transformation was from those whom I met during the charismatic movement of the 70’s from various protestant evangelical churches. I was enthusiastic about sharing the love of Jesus and His salvation with anyone I might encounter along the way.

Steve Kimball

There was however, one segment of the population that I didn’t witness to. That was the gay population. I didn’t give it much thought since I had read various passages that seemed to denounce the gay lifestyle. I migrated to Christ Episcopal Church from the Church of the Resurrection. My wife was still at the Church of the Resurrection. She told me about a lesbian couple that had started to attend there. I still didn’t think much about it, since they were at the Church of the Resurrection, and I was at Christ Episcopal Church. After all, wasn’t the gay lifestyle frowned upon by Christianity?

That very night, I had one the most vivid visions of my entire life. Jesus stood at the foot of my bed, and told me that there were two women that he would like me to meet. I didn’t have to ask who, but I did ask “What about scripture?"

Jesus answered, “I know what I authored. You must learn to love as I have taught.”

I knew what I must do. I went to speak to each of the women separately, and then together. I had to be honest with where I was and how Jesus told me to “get with it.” Both women were very gracious and loving. Not only did they teach me what love really is, they showed me what had been missing from my witness for these many years; a total and complete acceptance of ALL people, regardless of their sexual preference, ethnicity, etc. I was now free to love without any hindrance.

Welcome Sign outside Christ Church: Norwich

My desire to share Christ’s love has increased lately. To help me prepare for that sharing, I attended a Believe Out Loud workshop recently. This workshop is designed to aid us in welcoming and incorporating all people into the church community, being specific about including lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender folk into that incorporation. It was informative, and spiritually nourishing. I now consider myself an evangelical Christian much more prepared to share Christ’s love with ALL people.
 
Steve Kimball is a school bus driver and a member of Christ Episcopal Church in Norwich, CT, where he is a youth advisor and evangelism coordinator.  This article originally appeared in the July edition of the parish newsletter, Thameside Thinking, as does a recap of the Believe Out Loud Congregational Workshop the parish hosted recently.

A New Integrity for a New Church

PENTECOST

The season of Pentecost is referred to as "the birthday of the church" as we commemorate the Holy Spirit inspiring the disciples to formally begin ministry in Jesus' stead. 

The leadership of Integrity has been exploring some wilderness this past year. We witnessed a sea change of sorts at General Convention last July, when many of the resolutions we supported were passed with comparatively little rancor.  Our interim Executive Director, the Rev. Harry Knox, departed with our blessing to lead the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice.  And we dealt with the untimely loss of Communications Director Louise Brooks, who had been for many years the woman "behind the curtain" for Integrity's media and public presence.

We are not immune, either, to the tidal shift occurring within our church and society, which has meant hard questions for many congregations and groups as they struggle to remain relevant and vital in a changing culture.  The model we once followed at the local level, providing discreet spiritual refuge for those who did not yet feel welcomed or safe in the church mainstream, does not resonate with a generation who grew up in a church where discussing -- if not agreeing upon -- issues of sexuality and gender is becoming the norm.  The generation that follows will know no other, thanks be to God.

Integrity Visioning Retreat, Pasadena, Calif., September 2012

In September, we met with a group of these young people, prepared to be told hard truths about the future of our work.  We were pleasantly surprised to discover that they did not in fact think it was time to hang up and go home.  They recognized that achieving a "yes" at the national level is not the same as actually implementing that "yes" across the church.  They are also keenly aware that the majority of LGBT people view the institutional church with trepidation and even scorn, which must be overcome with personal engagement and humility if we are to share the good news with those who have been socialized to believe it is off limits to them.

But they were also clear that the Integrity of tomorrow, much like the church of tomorrow, cannot look like it does today to survive in the long term.  While we still have some traditional chapters who continue to offer worship and programming with an inward focus, we must also be open to new ways of being and thinking as opportunities to minister take shape. This is already happening in:

• Partnerships with diocesan ministries and other social justice organizations within the church to provide broader educational, social, worship and advocacy programming
• Collaborating with our peer organizations in multiple denominations as well as secular LGBT partners under the "Believe Out Loud" umbrella to grow the welcoming-church movement 
• Engaging youth and young adult leaders to represent the church at campus and secular LGBT events like the Creating Change conference
• Using social media to reach those who are not connected to the church in a traditional way

There is much more that we could be doing.  We are limited only by the amount of people and resources we can bring to bear.  The national leadership is striving to better know the reality at the local level across the church.  To that end, we appointed eight Provincial Coordinators, who will in turn work to identify a Diocesan Organizer in every diocese.  We hope this model will establish reliable and regular two-way communication, allow resource and idea-sharing, and improve our accountability to the whole Church.  These will be the "point people" for Integrity chapter leadership, congregations, bishops and their staffs, and ecumenical and secular partners to engage with Integrity at the local level. If you are passionate about justice and connected to what is going on in your area, please prayerfully consider this role and contact us for more information.

As we "emerged from the desert" knowing much more about ourselves and what we believe Integrity needs to be, we prepared mission and vision statements and a strategic plan to make them reality:

Our Mission

Integrity USA's mission is to inspire and equip the Episcopal Church, its dioceses, congregations, and members to proclaim and embody God’s all-inclusive love for LGBTQ persons and those who love them.

Our Vision

Integrity's vision of its success is that The Episcopal Church thrives as a beacon of love, justice, and compassion, where ALL PEOPLE are equally embraced and empowered.

We are already seeing results.  Hundreds of people have attended Believe Out Loud training opportunities across the country, and are working to bring their congregations into the welcoming-church movement.  We have six chapters in formation or rebirth. We are now in the process of calling a new Executive Director, whose leadership will be the lever to move us forward.  We are excited and joyful to be a part of this moment, and hope the Spirit will inspire you to join us.

Christian Paolino is the Chair of the national Stakeholders' Council of Integrity and the Diocesan Organizer for Newark

Reflections on 'An Open Letter to the Church'

Our corner of the blogosphere was abuzz last week with reposts and commentary about an open letter on a fairly-new blog called I Said I Don't Know, created by a young woman named Dannika Nash. If you haven't read it, go read it. Now, please. I'll wait here.In it, Ms. Nash has some frank words for the collective church (she doesn't say in what tradition she was raised... you can draw your own conclusions), which she warns -- in a nutshell -- if you ask me and my friends to choose between you and our LGBT friends, you will lose.

"But my generation, the generation that can smell bulls--t, especially holy bulls--t, from a mile away, will not stick around to see the church fight gay marriage against our better judgment. It’s my generation who is overwhelmingly supporting marriage equality, and Church, as a young person and as a theologian, it is not in your best interest to give them that ultimatum."

This is not, should not, be news to us. In the Pew research study of the "nones" (those people who identify with no faith tradition whatsoever). the overwhelming majority are progressive voters who believe in marriage equality. They cite religious institutions' meddling in politics and focus on rules among the main reasons for their disaffection. But here is a young person willing to single herself out and flat-out say it. I love you, church, but it's just not working for me, and here's why.

Now we know that our own denominational party line is not condemning of LGBT folk, at least at the national level. We passed numerous major pro-LGBT resolutions at our last General Convention, including the adoption of a rite to bless same-gender relationships. About two-thirds of our dioceses have agreed to use that rite in some form. In areas of the country where marriage equality is legal, every bishop with jurisdiction save one signed an amicus curae urging the Supreme Court to find for a repeal of Proposition 8 and DOMA. We have many congregations where identifying as LGBT will simply not be an issue.

US And Pride Flags over St. Paul's: Oakland, CA,
photo by Flickr user rudisillart and shared under
Creative Commons license. Click photo for details.

However, other than at placard-and-bullhorn events, how effectively are we putting that message out there? In your town, how can you tell from the curb which church will preach tolerance from the pulpit and which will preach condemnation? When we say "all are welcome" on a website or service leaflet, do we understand that a population which has been and continues to be the target of so much vitriol from some who purport to represent Christ will -- if they don't see themselves specifically included in that welcome --  assume there's an asterisk there and a footnote in invisible ink that says "except you" ?

And can we blame them? Disconnect yourself for a minute from what you know about the inside of your own parish, your own diocesan committees, NPR and the HuffPo Religion pages, and think about what the word Christian conjures up for the average American. Does Gene Robinson get as much as much airplay as Cardinal Dolan? Whose name you think more unchurched young people know: Jim Wallace or Pat Robertson? This means that we have to try that much harder, be that much more intentional in our efforts to be known as a church where there no outcasts. We need to name those who have specifically been excluded and invite them back in the door (or -- increasingly -- for the first time) with humility and a willingness to listen.

We are -- as a denomination -- famously squeamish about touchy subjects. Garrison Keillor can get away with teasing us about it, because he's one of us (okay, and because he's Garrison Keillor!), but remember it's been said that was basically our excuse for not taking a stand on slavery, too. In my work, I've heard some amazing things done in the name of not making a scene, such as, "We stopped flying the pride flag because we want to attract more young families with kids." Really? Did you ask them first if that's why they weren't coming? Look at these numbers again, please. And -- looking again at the real picture once you're inside many of our churches -- if they have a big problem with LGBT folks, are they going to feel comfortable anyway? I doubt many of us are ready to visit the don't-ask-don't tell days. My own congregation flies a rainbow flag 24 x 7 x 365, and we're crawling with kids!

"Do we understand that a population which has been and continues to be the target of so much vitriol from some who purport to represent Christ will — if they don't see themselves specifically included in that welcome — assume there's an asterisk there and a footnote in invisible ink that says 'except you'?"

However, I get it. We don't welcome new people in a way that sends those already here screaming for the exits. We don't want to create a one-issue church, and I think I can speak for the vast majority of the LGBT faithful that we're not looking to have our lives be the topic of conversation week after week. In other words, we don't want to go to "the gay church" either. That isn't what this is about.

All it takes is a few small signs. We encourage congregations to develop a welcoming statement that specifically includes reference to sexual orientation and gender identity or uses the words gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender specifically, for the reason described above. We have -- with our ecumenical partners in the Believe Out Loud movement -- created graphics which "our folks" will recognize and understand, which you can pop into the margin of your web site or bulletin. We ask that you consider linking to our chapter or organizational web sites and Facebook presence, and we link to those who have identified as working with us.

In another blog post titled "Winning Back the Nation", Ms. Nash writes:

"Another chunk of people in this nation are gay. And an even bigger chunk consists of people who love those gay people and want them to be treated like they matter. What would happen to this nation’s perception of God if the church began an overwhelming campaign to love gay people unconditionally? What if churches began LGBT missions (NOT to fix them, to love them exactly how they are) and proved to those people that they do matter to the church and to God? People are pretty good at detecting empty promises. How would this nation react to an outspoken love from the church? Some people would react with rage, I know that. I know those people personally, they live in my building. Churches have this really huge opportunity to love the kinds of people that Jesus would have loved. The outcasts, the abused, the thirsty. Win the nation, Church."

An LGBT mission? That's heady stuff, and maybe beyond many congregations, but that is also why organizations like Integrity are here to help. Maybe you will never have a parish contingent in a pride parade or a specific ministry to LGBT concerns. That is okay. But we know many of you are welcoming to us in your own way; we're just asking you to say it a little louder.

Christian Paolino is the Diocesan Organizer for Newark and the Chair of the national Stakeholders' Council of Integrity USA.

Karen Stevens: Out Loud At Last!

Church of the Good Samaritan: Corvallis, OR

The Episcopal Church of the Good Samaritan sits on a corner in Corvallis, a college town in Oregon’s Willamette Valley. The big night is finally here. We have just finished a potluck that ended with lemon bars to die for. The room is pleasingly full. Tonight’s program features a panel discussion focusing on LGBT issues of inclusion and exclusion with an emphasis on how to be more welcoming.

At a long table up front, the panel members are ready. Our moderator, Andy McQuery, a gifted communicator and the Integrity USA Diocesan Organizer for Oregon, looks forward to hosting the evening’s talk show. Our youngest panel member is a twenty-three year old lesbian college student and judo champion who works with our youth group. Having come out only three years ago, she regales us with anecdotes, some humorous, some heart-wrenching of what it’s like to live out her authentic identity amidst tensions at home and on campus. Another parishioner sits next to her, a shy but articulate gay man of middle age, a psychotherapist. Finally we have a sister-brother team who serve as co-leaders of PFLAG Corvallis/Albany and are the mother and uncle of a young lesbian woman.

Diocesan Organizer Andy McQuery and
VP for Local Affairs Matt Haines

This panel discussion culminates a lengthy but rewarding process that began when Integrity offered a Believe Out Loud workshop led by (Integrity VP for Local Affairs) Matt Haines and Andy McQuery at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral in Portland during the summer of 2010. These two put together an inspirational and motivating program that equipped participants to be agents of change in their own parishes. With my spiral bound BOL Toolkit in the seat beside me, I drove back to Corvallis thinking that within six months we would work through the necessary steps. Before long, the BOL icon, the cross nestled in a rainbow, would grace our web page. It was not to be, at least not so soon.

Generally speaking, Good Samaritan parishioners show kindness and compassion. A few, even then, were already LGBT allies. Many, though well meaning and vaguely supportive, were unfamiliar with the need to be specifically welcoming, so we held forums, assembled a Task Force, and wrote a welcoming statement, as the Toolkit advised. The Vestry encouraged our efforts, and they wanted the Task Force to include the congregation in all the steps. Andy and Matt generously came when needed. Our bishop, the Right Rev. Michael Joseph Hanley, found time in his busy schedule to give the Vestry a pep talk. Our priest, the Rev. Simon Justice, made clear in sermons, newsletters, and comments the importance of LGBT inclusion. In November 2012, the Vestry voted to become a Believe Out Loud Episcopal Congregation. We shouted 'Hooray!' but it wasn’t real until the night of the panel discussion.

Karen Stevens

Members of the Good Samaritan parish family listened intently for more than an hour to challenges LGBT Christians face in the 21^st century. They heard real life stories of men and women they sit next to in church. When Andy presented our BOL certificate to Fr. Simon, the audience applauded with enthusiasm! Now our BOL certificate hangs proudly outside the office door in the foyer where everyone can see it. On the web page, we prominently display our specific welcoming statement and the BOL logo. There’s still more do, but now we intentionally believe OUT LOUD!

- KAREN STEVENS

Karen Stevens is a parishioner at the Church of the Good Samaritan in Corvallis, Diocese of Oregon.

Damsel, Arise - Walking Away from Westboro

During the 2010 Believe Out Loud Power Summit, Social Movement Theorist Beth Zemsky taught us a powerful lesson about our fellow Christians who oppose our views on LGBT inclusion, marriage equality and related issues.

Whether or not they articulate it, or are even conscious of it, Zemsky says there is a subtext to how they interact with us:  "I learned what I know about people like you from people I loved and trusted."  She asserts that much of the resistance people have towards evolving their thinking about LGBT issues stems from one fact: it forces them to confront the possibility that -- if the people and institutions they relied on for their understanding of one issue are flawed -- they might have to question everything else they learned from those sources.  This is naturally quite traumatizing and can cause people to cling to ideas and prejudices that their hearts and minds might otherwise reject.

A rather extreme example of this dichotomy made the news this week when it came to light that two granddaughters of Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps had left the notoriously anti-gay organization and -- after secluding themselves for several months -- were now beginning to speak about their story.

Megan and Grace Phelps-Roper moved from the family's compound in Topeka, Ks., this past fall and eventually settled in Brooklyn's Park Slope neighborhood.  In a lengthy interview with author Jeff Chu, Megan describes how it felt to walk away from everything she'd ever known.    Once active in the church (she was the first WBC member to tweet, something for which her mother Shirley has become notorious), she began having trouble rationalizing the absolutist views of the church (made up almost entirely of Phelps' descendents) with her own evolving understanding of God and the world.  Eventually she reached a point where she could no longer participate.

As with everything else, leaving WBC is absolute and final. While she harbors no ill will towards her congregation and family, Megan is coming to grips with the idea of life without them.  She has not lost her faith, however; she and Grace spend many hours talking about God, and sorting out a belief system for themselves after it had been dictated to them for so long.

Megan and Grace released the following statement.