The Episcopal Church and My Transition

Raised as Roman Catholic, I converted to the Episcopal Church as an adult because the Episcopal Church is based upon three foundations:  Scripture, Tradition, and Reason... and let me not under-emphasize the importance of the last item listed... Reason. God gave us a brain, and we are meant to use it.

Not all Episcopal Parishes, nor all Episcopal Dioceses, however, are equal – but I am so completely and totally blessed to be a member of the Diocese of Southern Virginia, and of the parish of Eastern Shore Chapel (a “chapel of ease” established on the Eastern Shore of the Lynnhaven River, in Virginia Beach, VA).

For as long as I can remember, I knew that I was “different.”  It took years, however, to learn exactly what my difference was, to accept that difference, to embrace that difference, and then to live as that different person. My faith has always been of great importance to me, even during those dark nights of the soul when I was quite angry with God for making me as I am. It was only after years of study, searching, and counseling, that I came to not only accept who I am, but to actually realize that by being transgender God enhanced my life far, far above what it would have been as a hetero-normative individual.

As I came to both embrace my being, and move towards transitioning to my current gender, however, it became ever so readily apparent that not all denominations, or even congregations within a denomination were able to both talk/preach the word of Christ, but also to live and love as Christ directs and demands.

As I began to conclude that I would need to transition to survive, I had to ensure that my church would accept me. I had just read a couple of books by the liberal theologian, Bishop John Shelby Spong. Shortly thereafter I learned that Eastern Shore Chapel was bringing him to the church as part of their Chapel Speaker Series! I attended his presentations on Friday night and Saturday morning, then the regular service on Sunday morning – and my church home was set.

It was important to me that, moving forward in my life, my church knew who I was, so I immediately made appointments and met with the clergy telling all of them about my situation. Over the course of the next several years, I became more and more involved in my parish life. The parish sponsored an Integrity Chapter, and I served as its first Convenor, then on the Board of Directors. I commenced the four-year Education for Ministry (EFM) course. That first year, giving my spiritual autobiography included one of the most challenging decisions I would ever make as, to this point in time, only my wife, the clergy, and my counselors were aware that I was transgender. I vacillated back-and-forth for days uncertain how to proceed. At the last minute I made the decision to make the disclosure – fearful of the consequences – and ecstatic with the compassion of my classmates.

By the second year of EFM I was attending as the person that I truly am, as Donna. By the third year I knew that I would be making the public transition and slowly began expanding the circle of parishioners who knew both of my situation and of my impending transition.

On August 7, 2014 I underwent Facial Feminization Surgery, with Sunday, August 24th to be my first time attending church as Donna. As I dressed that morning for church – the first time that I would publicly attend a church service as a woman – I was a little apprehensive. Not exactly nervous, and definitely not scared, yet – still – this was a big step. I arrived at church about 10 minutes before the service, as is my habit. I think we all know how people tend to always sit in the same general area of the church each Sunday. Almost like we all have assigned seats/pews. Well, that morning, within mere minutes I WAS SURROUNDED by people, packed in near me almost like sardines in a can. It was mostly women, but a few men as well. It was a visible sign of support to me; and it was a visible sign – to the rest of the congregation – of the parish’s support for me. Several ladies told me that they had not intended on attending church that Sunday, but they knew that it was to be my first service as Donna, and they wanted to be there for me! Another lady welcomed me to “the women’s team!” Over the past three months my full and complete acceptance as a woman member of our parish has been total and complete.

Not every aspect of my transition has gone so smoothly. While I am truly blessed at how well it has gone, the family impact has been significant. But – I simply do not know where I would be today without my faith and my parish.

I have attended more churches than the average person. I left the Catholic Church as a teenager and, during college, “deliberately wandered” checking out every mainline Christian denomination I could:  Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist, you name it, I tried it. The beauty of diversity is that there is a church for anyone who searches. None is better nor worse than any other, but we all/each have our own comfort levels. During my wandering I was continually drawn to St. Paul’s Episcopal in my college town. When I commenced active duty in the Navy the basic options were Roman Catholic or “generic” Protestant. Well into my 25 years of active duty Naval service I converted to the Episcopal Church – which I by then recognized as being on the leading edge of mainline Christianity with regards to the full acceptance (no * - meaning no exception) ordination, and consecration – as Priests and Bishops – of women, gay, lesbian, and most recently, transgender individuals.

For me, for many years now, my time at church – and not just for Sunday services – are among the most fulfilling and happiest days of my life.

How nice to have a church that not just preaches, but actually practices, Christianity!

Donna Price

Expanding Welcome in Virginia Beach

Earlier this summer, as a service project in preparation for PrideFest, the Virginia Beach chapter of Integrity sent a mailing to each of the 105 churches in the Diocese of Southern Virginia asking if they would like to be identified as a Welcoming Congregation. A stamped postcard with yes, no and contact us was also included so the churches could easily return them. The chapter received 29 responses.


We took the positive responses and added them to our website, http://integritydiosova.blogspot.com/ and created the Welcoming Churches list. We also created a handout and placed the congregations on a map for use at the Integrity booth at our annual PrideFest celebration. The handout and map were well received at PrideFest by the folks who visited the booth.

We also received a couple of invitations from churches to come and help educate others on what it meant to be a welcoming congregation and why it was important. This past Sunday, Board Member, Tina Finnerty and Chapter Convener, Susan Pederson visited the Church of the Ascension in Norfolk and spoke to the Adult Forum class. The church vestry voted to be identified as a welcoming congregation but had questions about why it was important.

“While it is great to be welcoming, unless others know, LGBT folks won’t know where it is safe for them to worship,” shared Tina who told her story of her own search for a welcoming congregation for her and her wife a couple years ago. “When I found a congregation nearby, I sent an email to the rector and asked if we would be welcome because there was nothing specific on their website, though there was a link to Rev. Susan Russell’s blog. I received an affirmative answer and we started attending that parish. Six months later we were both confirmed. Since that time, we have made changes to our website and now it is clearly posted that we are a welcoming congregation and we are presently waiting the official designation from Believe Out Loud.”

“The Virginia Beach Chapter of Integrity has a responsibility to our community, the Diocese and the LGBT folks in our area. We want to let everyone know that they are unconditionally loved by God, and that everyone can find a safe place to worship in an Episcopal Church in our Diocese,” Susan told the audience. “We’re here to help you on your journey to see just how that looks for Ascension.”

Tina Finnerty is a Board Member of the Virginia Beach Chapter of Integrity

Ann Turner Named Diocesan Organizer for Southern Virginia

Ann Turner

Integrity is pleased to announce the appointment of Ann Turner as Diocesan Organizer for the Diocese of Southern Virginia.

Ann is a life-long Episcopalian and serves as the Communications Officer for the Diocese of Southern Virginia, a position to which she was called by her bishop in 2010. Prior to that, she served as the Communications Director at Eastern Shore Chapel Episcopal Church in Virginia Beach for ten years.

"Ann is one of the hardest working folks I know," enthused Susan Pederson, Integrity's Province III Coordinator. "She has her fingers on the pulse of the Diocese and I am honored to welcome her and work alongside her! She has been instrumental in the success of the Integrity Virginia Beach Chapter." Province III of the Episcopal Church consists of thirteen dioceses in mid-Atlantic states from Virginia to Pennsylvania.

While at Eastern Shore Chapel, Ann co-founded the Integrity Virginia Beach Chapter. She has a degree in English from the College of William & Mary and has spent most of her career in the non-profit sector, working for a variety of agencies, including welfare-to-work, environmental education, and healthcare. Ann lives in Virginia Beach, is an avid runner, and enjoys hiking with her two dogs.

"We are blessed to have someone with Ann's vast experience taking on this important leadership ministry," said Matt Haines, Integrity's Vice President for Local Affairs, who supports the team of provincial and diocesan leaders.  "She has already been part of a dynamic chapter in Southern Virginia and will be part of a great team in Province III." 

Integrity Diocesan Organizers serve as a liaison between bishops and their staffs and the Integrity leadership, and also work to encourage congregations and individuals to get involved with our programs.  Together with our eight Provincial Coordinators, they plan workshops and other educational opportunities around the country.  We are actively seeking candidates to fill this important role in more areas.  Please contact us for more information.

Blessings, Bustin' Out All Over

In the wake of the Episcopal Church's adoption of an official rite for blessing of same-sex relationships, dioceses across the country have begun offering this ministry to the gay and lesbian couples in their communities.

Integrity has surveyed the domestic dioceses of the church and published an interactive map on our website that shows where such blessing services are permitted.  There are some real surprises in the data: the bishops of some fairly conservative dioceses have authorized the use of the rite, or are considering it.

In places where there is no civil recognition of same-sex relationships, couples often have to obtain their legal status as a couple in other states before their church can witness their vows.  In places where marriage equality has been achieved, most dioceses have authorized their clergy to perform the same civil function as they do for heterosexual couples, although the church still maintains a distinction between the blessing rite and the sacrament of marriage.

The first blessing service in Texas took place February 23 at St. David's: Austin.  Anthony Dale Chapple and Dennis Glenn Driskell, a couple for 23 years who were legally married in New York City, repeated their vows in front of family in friends and then served as chalice bearers at a Eucharist at which the rector of St. David's, the Rev. David Boyd, presided.

"The Witnessing and Blessing of a Lifelong Covenant (Same Gender Blessing) in Austin,Texas this week was a historic and joyous occasion. Our best wishes, thoughts and prayers go out to Anthony Chapple and Dennis Driskell," said S. Wayne Mathis, Integrity's Province VII Coordinator. "While this marks the first official same gender blessing in the state of Texas, my prayer is that someday the blessing will become commonplace in each and every parish. Let us remain vigilant and be a voice for equality."

Photographs and more background about Anthony and Dennis's service may be found here.

Not too far away, St. Stephen's: Houston celebrated its own first blessing rite as Integrity members Jeff Meadows and Gary Patterson, a couple for over 15 years, exchanged vows on March 17th.  "What this has meant to us is now the church has said, 'Yes. You are a couple. You are living together. You love each other. You are taking care of each other. But you need the same kind of care and understanding we give to our mixed-gender couples that are married,' " Patterson said.

Read their story in the Houston Chronicle here.

Meanwhile, on March 2nd, the Diocese of Southern Virginia also witnessed its first blessing of a same-sex couple as St. Andrew's: Norfolk.  In an interview with the Hampton Roads Vicginian-Pilot, the Rev. John Rohrs, Rector of St. Andrew's, was careful in his description of the blessing rite, at which he officiated.
 
"It's not a wedding. It's not a marriage," he explained. "It's a unique liturgy designed to ask God to bless the relationship of a same-gender couple and their lifelong commitment."

St. Andrew's has a lengthy history of LGBT inclusion, beginning with the AIDS crisis in the 1980s.  After a retreat this winter, Integrity's Provincial Coordinators were welcomed to Sunday worship, at which the congregation was invited to witness in the upcoming blessing service.

Under the direction of its bishop, the Right Rev. Herman Hollerith IV, the Diocese had undergone a long and careful process leading up the decision to conduct blessings to occur on a trial basis.  In the months leading up to General Convention, a task force called Leading a Holy Life was established for conversation about the issue, and a blog was set up with thoughtful essays by people across the spectrum of opinion.

After General Convention, the Diocese published a policy governing when and how the blessing rite would be used, beginning in January.  Province III Coordinator Susan Pederson described how the process worked at St. Andrew’s:

“Last fall, Rev. John Rohrs and the Vestry of St. Andrew’s began the discernment process to determine whether or not there was ‘a reasonable consensus’ of support within the parish. They began with an Adult Forum on the subject during the Sunday School hour, and a variety of people came. Rohrs began to educate the congregation on the process and the guidelines. After the initial meeting, a couple approached Rohrs and asked if he would conduct the service for them. Later that month the Vestry voted and approved unanimously to seek authorization.”  Bishop Hollerith approved the application, and the rest was, as they say, history.