Expanding Welcome in Virginia Beach

Earlier this summer, as a service project in preparation for PrideFest, the Virginia Beach chapter of Integrity sent a mailing to each of the 105 churches in the Diocese of Southern Virginia asking if they would like to be identified as a Welcoming Congregation. A stamped postcard with yes, no and contact us was also included so the churches could easily return them. The chapter received 29 responses.


We took the positive responses and added them to our website, http://integritydiosova.blogspot.com/ and created the Welcoming Churches list. We also created a handout and placed the congregations on a map for use at the Integrity booth at our annual PrideFest celebration. The handout and map were well received at PrideFest by the folks who visited the booth.

We also received a couple of invitations from churches to come and help educate others on what it meant to be a welcoming congregation and why it was important. This past Sunday, Board Member, Tina Finnerty and Chapter Convener, Susan Pederson visited the Church of the Ascension in Norfolk and spoke to the Adult Forum class. The church vestry voted to be identified as a welcoming congregation but had questions about why it was important.

“While it is great to be welcoming, unless others know, LGBT folks won’t know where it is safe for them to worship,” shared Tina who told her story of her own search for a welcoming congregation for her and her wife a couple years ago. “When I found a congregation nearby, I sent an email to the rector and asked if we would be welcome because there was nothing specific on their website, though there was a link to Rev. Susan Russell’s blog. I received an affirmative answer and we started attending that parish. Six months later we were both confirmed. Since that time, we have made changes to our website and now it is clearly posted that we are a welcoming congregation and we are presently waiting the official designation from Believe Out Loud.”

“The Virginia Beach Chapter of Integrity has a responsibility to our community, the Diocese and the LGBT folks in our area. We want to let everyone know that they are unconditionally loved by God, and that everyone can find a safe place to worship in an Episcopal Church in our Diocese,” Susan told the audience. “We’re here to help you on your journey to see just how that looks for Ascension.”

Tina Finnerty is a Board Member of the Virginia Beach Chapter of Integrity

Student's Marriage Equality Presentation Opens Eyes, Hearts

This spring St. Aidan’s Episcopal Church in Virginia Beach, VA hosted a special event for its parishioners, community and the Integrity Virginia Beach Chapter. Peter Dempsey, a senior at First Colonial High School in Virginia Beach, presented his senior project, "Gay Marriage – Laws, Rights and Facts."

Integrity Province III Coordinator Susan Pederson, Chapter
member Peter Dempsey, the Rev. Mark Wilkinson, Rector of
 St. Aiden's: Virginia Beach

Dempsey is Integrity Virginia Beach’s youngest member. As he worked on the project, he was mentored by Susan Pederson, a chapter member and Integrity's Province III Coordinator.

Peter is an active member of St. Aidan's. His parents, Sue and Bill Dempsey, are EYC leaders at the church. St. Aidan’s has welcomed Integrity Virginia Beach Chapter on several occasions,
hosting an Integrity Eucharist and a screening of  the Gene Robinson biopic Love Free or Die in 2013. The Rev. Mark Wilkinson, rector, and many parishioners were in attendance at Peter’s presentation.

Peter began his presentation by sharing that he was inspired to make same-gender marriage the topic of his senior project because some of his friends at school are gay. "I was teary at the start," said Peter’s mom Sue, "when he said, 'I want to be loved and accepted, everyone deserves it.'"

Peter did a terrific job of engaging the audience in his presentation, including some interactive exercises that really got people talking. Conversation continued long after Peter concluded his talk. "Peter did an excellent presentation with very sound arguments to support his position," said Sharon Metz, a member of St. Aidan’s. According to Peter’s teacher, he "blew it out of the water!"

The members and leadership of Integrity Virginia Beach are very proud of Peter and his work. We realize how vital it is to support and encourage our young adult members as they prepare to become our future advocates and leaders.

Ann Turner is Integrity's Diocesan Organizer for Southern Virginia and a member of the Virginia Beach chapter.  Her "day job" is Director of Communications for the Diocese.

Ann Turner Named Diocesan Organizer for Southern Virginia

Ann Turner

Integrity is pleased to announce the appointment of Ann Turner as Diocesan Organizer for the Diocese of Southern Virginia.

Ann is a life-long Episcopalian and serves as the Communications Officer for the Diocese of Southern Virginia, a position to which she was called by her bishop in 2010. Prior to that, she served as the Communications Director at Eastern Shore Chapel Episcopal Church in Virginia Beach for ten years.

"Ann is one of the hardest working folks I know," enthused Susan Pederson, Integrity's Province III Coordinator. "She has her fingers on the pulse of the Diocese and I am honored to welcome her and work alongside her! She has been instrumental in the success of the Integrity Virginia Beach Chapter." Province III of the Episcopal Church consists of thirteen dioceses in mid-Atlantic states from Virginia to Pennsylvania.

While at Eastern Shore Chapel, Ann co-founded the Integrity Virginia Beach Chapter. She has a degree in English from the College of William & Mary and has spent most of her career in the non-profit sector, working for a variety of agencies, including welfare-to-work, environmental education, and healthcare. Ann lives in Virginia Beach, is an avid runner, and enjoys hiking with her two dogs.

"We are blessed to have someone with Ann's vast experience taking on this important leadership ministry," said Matt Haines, Integrity's Vice President for Local Affairs, who supports the team of provincial and diocesan leaders.  "She has already been part of a dynamic chapter in Southern Virginia and will be part of a great team in Province III." 

Integrity Diocesan Organizers serve as a liaison between bishops and their staffs and the Integrity leadership, and also work to encourage congregations and individuals to get involved with our programs.  Together with our eight Provincial Coordinators, they plan workshops and other educational opportunities around the country.  We are actively seeking candidates to fill this important role in more areas.  Please contact us for more information.

Requiescat in Pace: The Rev. David A. Dingwall

For I am about to create new heavens and a new earth;
the former things shall not be remembered or come to mind.
But be glad and rejoice for ever in what I am creating;
for I am about to create Jerusalem as a joy,
   and its people as a delight.
 I will rejoice in Jerusalem, and delight in my people;
no more shall the sound of weeping be heard in it,
   or the cry of distress. 

 ISAIAH 65: 17-19

On November 24th, the Rev. David A. Dingwall sat down at his computer and posted in his blog the schedule for the week at St. Paul's-by-the-Sea in Ocean City, Md., where he was the Rector.

"On Tuesday from 10am-12pm, the Shepherd's Crook food bank & clothing store is open on the ground floor of the Parish House...."

Fr. David was assisting with this ministry on Tuesday, the day some in the church remember hymn-writer Isaac Watts, when the fire began.  Various news sources are reporting that a man named John Sterner, a client of the ministry, ran into the basement of the facility with his clothes on fire.  According to witnesses, he embraced a volunteer, causing the flames to spread to her.  She remains in a burn unit at a Baltimore hospital. Another volunteer tried to "stop, drop and roll" Sterner to extinguish the flames, but was unsuccessful. Sterner died at the scene, and Fr. David, who had gone upstairs and was overcome by smoke, was taken to Atlantic General Hospital in Berlin, Md., where he later also succumbed.

St. Paul's is not, to my knowledge, affiliated with Integrity or a Believe Out Loud congregation.  Neither I nor any member of the Integrity Board of Directors ever met him, or knew of him before this week. But Fr. David was a friend of ours. 

He was our friend because of the kind of work that happens at St. Paul's.  Hungry people who need food could find it there.  There was clothing to be had if you needed it.  And the Internet and phone were available to help you stay connected to the world if a computer or an iPhone or even a permanent address were more than you could swing right now.  LGBT youth are twice as likely as their straight or cisgender friends to be homeless, so when folks help them, we are grateful.

He was our friend because St. Paul's has a welcoming statement that reaches out towards everybody, and mentions gay people specifically.  Something tells me if we talked with him a bit about it, he'd see to it to expand that statement even wider, or at least hear us out.  This is at the core of our work: in the wake of sweeping statements about fairness and inclusion, we are striving to make them reality, one congregation at a time.  St. Pauls is -- it would appear -- a congregation that gets it.

He was our friend because he read the story about a New Jersey waitress, a lesbian and a former Marine, who reportedly received a condemnation about her "lifestyle" instead of a tip*, and was so bothered by that idea that on November 17th, he preached about it, saying in part:

"When it comes to the connection between religion and sex…what we hear most often from the Christian community is rule based. What behaviors are acceptable and what behaviors are not. Who can do what with whom in the eyes of God…or at least what someone has decided is acceptable in God’s eyes. No less a figure than Pope Francis has pointed out that Christians need to get over our obsession with sexual orientation saying that 'If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?'"

He was our friend because, when the State of Maryland made marriage equality the law of the land and the Right Rev. James J. Shand authorized clergy in the Diocese of Easton to offer the authorized blessing rite to same-sex couples along with witnessing their civil marriage if they wished, Fr. David said yes, he would.

Later in the same sermon, Fr. David paraphrased a Gospel story thusly:

"When the disciples reported that the crowds of people who had come to hear him were hungry, and hoped that Jesus would send them away, instead said to the disciples 'You feed them.' Not … 'find out if they deserve it…and only then feed them;' but 'You feed them.'"

This was a lesson Fr. David and the people of St. Paul's clearly took to heart, and it was what he was doing when he died. We in the church mourn his loss, but we must celebrate his example, and go now and do likewise.

The Rev. David A. Dingwall was born in British Columbia. He received his M. Div. at the College of Emmanuel and Saint Chad in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. He was ordained a deacon of the Anglican Church of Canada in May of 1988, and as priest in December of that same year.  His first parish was Christ Church: Alert Bay where he was serving as Rector and also Priest-In-Charge of Saint George’s: Kingcome Inlet, on Cormorant Island off the British Columbia coast.

Fr. David moved to Maryland with his wife, Brenda, their three sons, and their dogs in 2003.  He served in a non-stipendiary capacity at a number of congregations until completing the naturalization process.  He served as rector at St. Paul's-by-the-Sea since 2005.

Plans for a memorial service to be held next week are in formation.  We will share them when they are known.

Then let our songs abound,
And every tear be dry;
We’re marching through Immanuel’s ground,
We’re marching through Immanuel’s ground,
To fairer worlds on high,
To fairer worlds on high.

- ISAAC WATTS

NOTE: There is some uncertainty about the waitress's story Fr. David cites.  Its value may be purely apocryphal.

Christian Paolino is Chair of the Integrity Stakeholders' Council 

Bishop of Pittsburgh Authorizes Use of Blessings Rite

The Right Rev. Dorsey McConnell, Bishop of Pittsburgh, issused a pastoral letter on November 25th which authorized clergy in the diocese to use the provisional rite for blessing same-gender relationships authorized by the General Convention of the Episcopal Church in 2012.

"As I have listened to you, I have heard many passionate, and sometimes contradictory, hopes and fears," he wrote in a pastoral letter released Monday. "Some have insisted they will not tolerate any permitted use of a blessing liturgy in this diocese, while others have insisted they will accept nothing less than sacramental marriage for same-sex couples. Between these poles I have heard a host of nuanced positions, usually accompanied by the sincere desire for the unity of the Church."

McConnell, who told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette he will not perform the services himself, cited a need to be "the Bishop of the whole diocese" in extending the option to those priests who wish to provide pastoral care to same-sex couples.

"I think this is a fabulous step forward, and I look forward to the day when the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania offers equality to all," said Susan Pederson, Integrity's Province III Coordinator.

Integrity Pittsburgh issued a measured response on its web site, which read in part:

"We appreciate this announcement as a first step. We’ve patiently waited for this first step, and we thank the bishop for it. We feel this is only the beginning of full inclusion of LBGTQA people into the life and ministry of the church."

Chapter Co-Convener Dianne Watson told the Post-Gazette: "Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and asexual persons should have access to all of the rites of the Episcopal Church, no matter which local church they go to."

From across the Commonwealth, Integrity's Vice President for National Affairs, the Rev. Jon M. Richardson, responded joyfully to the news.  He is rector of the Memorial Church of the Good Shepherd in Philadelphia.

"I echo the praise of the leaders of Integrity Pittsburgh in celebrating this step on the journey to real equality being offered by Bishop McConnell. The General Convention in 2012 made space for bishops to offer blessing rites to Episcopalians in loving, same-sex relationships as a part of a 'generous pastoral response' to the needs of gay and lesbian people, and it is encouraging to see that pastoral need being met for faithful Episcopalians in the Diocese of Pittsburgh. While it's true that there are miles to go before we achieve real equality, Bishop McConnell's generosity is a very welcome development. I share in the joy of Integrity Pittsburgh and offer my gratitude to their bishop. I pray that their diocese and our whole church will shine as a beacon of welcome to all people on the margins of society."

The Rev. Dr. Caroline Hall, Integrity's President, sums up the situation:

"The Diocese of Pittsburgh has been through a careful process to discern its way forward, and Bishop McConnell's decision to allow each parish to make its own choice shows a respect and pastoral concern for the diversity of opinion which exists. However, in his comments on the rite of blessing he seems be condemning it as an inadequate rite for the sacrament of marriage. He is -- of course -- correct, because General Convention did not authorize a rite of marriage. Integrity is committed to working for the day when a rite of marriage will be available for same-gender couples in every church, and gives thanks for each small step along the way."

The Diocese of Pittsburgh split in 2008, in part over differences of opinion on human sexuality issues.  About 40 parishes and 10,000 people make up the continuing Episcopal diocese.

Christian Paolino is Chair of the Stakeholders' Council of IntegrityUSA

The Rev. Dr. Caroline Hall: Come Out Again

The following is a sermon preached by the Rev. Dr. Caroline Hall at a Taizé service at the Cathedral of the Incarnation in Baltimore, MD, on the Feast of St. Mark, Thursday, April 25th, 2013.  Dr. Hall is currently touring the Northeast to spend time with Integrity members and congregations.

The leaders of the Jewish people were trying to push Jesus into a damning admission which would give them the opportunity to accuse him of a major crime. They wanted him to declare that he was the Messiah so that they could shout treason and get rid of him. Not only was Jesus was a threat to their authority among the Jews, but his ideas might make trouble for them with the Roman authorities. They didn’t want the boat rocked.

Cathedral Church of the Incarnation, Baltimore
Photo credit: Monument City

Yet in typical fashion, Jesus does not give them the answer they want. He says instead “The works that I do in my Father’s name testify to me.” It’s a familiar idea in Jesus’ teaching – don’t just listen to what people say but look at what they do, at how they live their lives – are they becoming more holy, more just, more compassionate or not? Jesus’ flock are the ones who are listening - those who are taking his teaching and his example and are using them to make the reign of God a reality in their lives and in the lives of the community around them.

Each one of us is called to be part of the flock. Each one of us is called to testify to the power of Jesus’ love in our lives by the way that we live. And we are being watched. Just as Jesus was watched, so we his followers are watched.

I think that’s especially true for those of us who are lesbian, gay transgender or bisexual, or those who are under thirty-five. It used to be that it was really hard to come out in the church – now for many of us it’s harder to come out to our friends and acquaintances outside the church. We are all being watched – and more often than not, the church is being found wanting.

People say they don’t want to be part of institutional religion because of the hypocrisy – and there is plenty of that. I understand that Edward Peters, a Catholic leader, recently said that Catholics who support same-gender marriage should not try to receive communion and if they do so, it should be denied them. This is just one more example of the kind of behavior that is getting a lot of media attention and is driving people away from our churches. We know that’s not what Episcopalians think, but most folk don’t make distinctions between one church and another but lump us all together in their minds.

Which means that we have to be even more aware of doing works which “testify to the Father.” The things we do are probably not going to be things that land us on the front page of the Washington Post, they’re more likely to be quiet actions of love and kindness, which grow out of a deep spiritual connection with our Abba. They’re more likely to be things which don’t stand out but which contribute to the deep well-being of our world.

And in the strange world of our God they’ll prove to be more important than the bold statements that make the headlines. God did not choose to incarnate in Rome, at the center of the Empire. God did not choose to incarnate in a wealthy, prominent family. No, God chose to incarnate in a small nation which has always been at the center of international trouble, to a small unconventional family in a small town huddled in a barn. God did not choose a flashy well-understood act to redeem the world, but instead allowed Godself to get killed in an ignominious way which no-one really understands, even to this day. And when Jesus was resurrected it wasn’t in front of crowds of people, it wasn’t in the Sanhedrin or Pilate’s palace, rather he appeared to his disciples in ones and twos and small groups.

So never let us imagine that small things don’t make a difference. In God’s kingdom it’s the small things that have the greatest impact. Sometimes we can see that they do, but more often their results are hidden.

Fifteen years ago the idea that gay or lesbian couples could ever be legally married was almost laughable. But today it’s becoming almost commonplace. We have just seen France legalize gay marriage; there’s a bill in the British Parliament as we speak; Rhode Island is on its way to becoming the 10^th state to legalize gay marriage and the Supreme Court is considering the question. Moreover, the majority of Americans now think it’s ok. How far we have come in just a short time. There are many things that fed into that astonishingly rapid change, but the most important is the quiet witness of gay and lesbian people coming out to their friends, and coming out in their workplaces, and coming out in their churches.

We still need to come out today. But this time we’re not coming out as gay but coming out as Christian. Just as we had to battle public prejudice when we came out as gay, today we have to battle public prejudice as we admit that we too are Christian. And just as we had to tell people that we’re gay so we need to tell people that we follow the God who loves all people equally, even the homophobes – it’s not enough to hope that they’ll pick up the hints, that they’ll follow the clues and draw the right conclusions – we have to take our courage in our hands and testify to the Father.

What has made the difference for gays, lesbians and transgender people is that as we have come out the fantasy of the evil homosexual who is out to take your children and your marriage away has had to abate. It’s not gone altogether but it is less and less possible to maintain as more and more people know gay or lesbian people and know that they like and respect them.

It’s time now for all of us who hear Jesus and follow him to do the same thing for the image of the Christian as judgmental and limiting. It’s time for us to be seen to live lives that are joyful and generously open-hearted. It’s time for us to make sure that in everything we do we are glorifying God. It’s time for us to testify to the Father by our lives but no less by our words.

Each one of us influences a small group of people a lot and a lot of people a little, just like Jesus influenced the disciples a lot and the Jewish people a little. It’s time to use the influence that we have. It’s time to show that we belong to Jesus’ flock by testifying to the Father in our conversations as well as our lives.

It’s time for us, gay straight or neither to dare to come out as Christian!

Blessings, Bustin' Out All Over

In the wake of the Episcopal Church's adoption of an official rite for blessing of same-sex relationships, dioceses across the country have begun offering this ministry to the gay and lesbian couples in their communities.

Integrity has surveyed the domestic dioceses of the church and published an interactive map on our website that shows where such blessing services are permitted.  There are some real surprises in the data: the bishops of some fairly conservative dioceses have authorized the use of the rite, or are considering it.

In places where there is no civil recognition of same-sex relationships, couples often have to obtain their legal status as a couple in other states before their church can witness their vows.  In places where marriage equality has been achieved, most dioceses have authorized their clergy to perform the same civil function as they do for heterosexual couples, although the church still maintains a distinction between the blessing rite and the sacrament of marriage.

The first blessing service in Texas took place February 23 at St. David's: Austin.  Anthony Dale Chapple and Dennis Glenn Driskell, a couple for 23 years who were legally married in New York City, repeated their vows in front of family in friends and then served as chalice bearers at a Eucharist at which the rector of St. David's, the Rev. David Boyd, presided.

"The Witnessing and Blessing of a Lifelong Covenant (Same Gender Blessing) in Austin,Texas this week was a historic and joyous occasion. Our best wishes, thoughts and prayers go out to Anthony Chapple and Dennis Driskell," said S. Wayne Mathis, Integrity's Province VII Coordinator. "While this marks the first official same gender blessing in the state of Texas, my prayer is that someday the blessing will become commonplace in each and every parish. Let us remain vigilant and be a voice for equality."

Photographs and more background about Anthony and Dennis's service may be found here.

Not too far away, St. Stephen's: Houston celebrated its own first blessing rite as Integrity members Jeff Meadows and Gary Patterson, a couple for over 15 years, exchanged vows on March 17th.  "What this has meant to us is now the church has said, 'Yes. You are a couple. You are living together. You love each other. You are taking care of each other. But you need the same kind of care and understanding we give to our mixed-gender couples that are married,' " Patterson said.

Read their story in the Houston Chronicle here.

Meanwhile, on March 2nd, the Diocese of Southern Virginia also witnessed its first blessing of a same-sex couple as St. Andrew's: Norfolk.  In an interview with the Hampton Roads Vicginian-Pilot, the Rev. John Rohrs, Rector of St. Andrew's, was careful in his description of the blessing rite, at which he officiated.
 
"It's not a wedding. It's not a marriage," he explained. "It's a unique liturgy designed to ask God to bless the relationship of a same-gender couple and their lifelong commitment."

St. Andrew's has a lengthy history of LGBT inclusion, beginning with the AIDS crisis in the 1980s.  After a retreat this winter, Integrity's Provincial Coordinators were welcomed to Sunday worship, at which the congregation was invited to witness in the upcoming blessing service.

Under the direction of its bishop, the Right Rev. Herman Hollerith IV, the Diocese had undergone a long and careful process leading up the decision to conduct blessings to occur on a trial basis.  In the months leading up to General Convention, a task force called Leading a Holy Life was established for conversation about the issue, and a blog was set up with thoughtful essays by people across the spectrum of opinion.

After General Convention, the Diocese published a policy governing when and how the blessing rite would be used, beginning in January.  Province III Coordinator Susan Pederson described how the process worked at St. Andrew’s:

“Last fall, Rev. John Rohrs and the Vestry of St. Andrew’s began the discernment process to determine whether or not there was ‘a reasonable consensus’ of support within the parish. They began with an Adult Forum on the subject during the Sunday School hour, and a variety of people came. Rohrs began to educate the congregation on the process and the guidelines. After the initial meeting, a couple approached Rohrs and asked if he would conduct the service for them. Later that month the Vestry voted and approved unanimously to seek authorization.”  Bishop Hollerith approved the application, and the rest was, as they say, history.