The Episcopal Church and My Transition

Raised as Roman Catholic, I converted to the Episcopal Church as an adult because the Episcopal Church is based upon three foundations:  Scripture, Tradition, and Reason... and let me not under-emphasize the importance of the last item listed... Reason. God gave us a brain, and we are meant to use it.

Not all Episcopal Parishes, nor all Episcopal Dioceses, however, are equal – but I am so completely and totally blessed to be a member of the Diocese of Southern Virginia, and of the parish of Eastern Shore Chapel (a “chapel of ease” established on the Eastern Shore of the Lynnhaven River, in Virginia Beach, VA).

For as long as I can remember, I knew that I was “different.”  It took years, however, to learn exactly what my difference was, to accept that difference, to embrace that difference, and then to live as that different person. My faith has always been of great importance to me, even during those dark nights of the soul when I was quite angry with God for making me as I am. It was only after years of study, searching, and counseling, that I came to not only accept who I am, but to actually realize that by being transgender God enhanced my life far, far above what it would have been as a hetero-normative individual.

As I came to both embrace my being, and move towards transitioning to my current gender, however, it became ever so readily apparent that not all denominations, or even congregations within a denomination were able to both talk/preach the word of Christ, but also to live and love as Christ directs and demands.

As I began to conclude that I would need to transition to survive, I had to ensure that my church would accept me. I had just read a couple of books by the liberal theologian, Bishop John Shelby Spong. Shortly thereafter I learned that Eastern Shore Chapel was bringing him to the church as part of their Chapel Speaker Series! I attended his presentations on Friday night and Saturday morning, then the regular service on Sunday morning – and my church home was set.

It was important to me that, moving forward in my life, my church knew who I was, so I immediately made appointments and met with the clergy telling all of them about my situation. Over the course of the next several years, I became more and more involved in my parish life. The parish sponsored an Integrity Chapter, and I served as its first Convenor, then on the Board of Directors. I commenced the four-year Education for Ministry (EFM) course. That first year, giving my spiritual autobiography included one of the most challenging decisions I would ever make as, to this point in time, only my wife, the clergy, and my counselors were aware that I was transgender. I vacillated back-and-forth for days uncertain how to proceed. At the last minute I made the decision to make the disclosure – fearful of the consequences – and ecstatic with the compassion of my classmates.

By the second year of EFM I was attending as the person that I truly am, as Donna. By the third year I knew that I would be making the public transition and slowly began expanding the circle of parishioners who knew both of my situation and of my impending transition.

On August 7, 2014 I underwent Facial Feminization Surgery, with Sunday, August 24th to be my first time attending church as Donna. As I dressed that morning for church – the first time that I would publicly attend a church service as a woman – I was a little apprehensive. Not exactly nervous, and definitely not scared, yet – still – this was a big step. I arrived at church about 10 minutes before the service, as is my habit. I think we all know how people tend to always sit in the same general area of the church each Sunday. Almost like we all have assigned seats/pews. Well, that morning, within mere minutes I WAS SURROUNDED by people, packed in near me almost like sardines in a can. It was mostly women, but a few men as well. It was a visible sign of support to me; and it was a visible sign – to the rest of the congregation – of the parish’s support for me. Several ladies told me that they had not intended on attending church that Sunday, but they knew that it was to be my first service as Donna, and they wanted to be there for me! Another lady welcomed me to “the women’s team!” Over the past three months my full and complete acceptance as a woman member of our parish has been total and complete.

Not every aspect of my transition has gone so smoothly. While I am truly blessed at how well it has gone, the family impact has been significant. But – I simply do not know where I would be today without my faith and my parish.

I have attended more churches than the average person. I left the Catholic Church as a teenager and, during college, “deliberately wandered” checking out every mainline Christian denomination I could:  Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist, you name it, I tried it. The beauty of diversity is that there is a church for anyone who searches. None is better nor worse than any other, but we all/each have our own comfort levels. During my wandering I was continually drawn to St. Paul’s Episcopal in my college town. When I commenced active duty in the Navy the basic options were Roman Catholic or “generic” Protestant. Well into my 25 years of active duty Naval service I converted to the Episcopal Church – which I by then recognized as being on the leading edge of mainline Christianity with regards to the full acceptance (no * - meaning no exception) ordination, and consecration – as Priests and Bishops – of women, gay, lesbian, and most recently, transgender individuals.

For me, for many years now, my time at church – and not just for Sunday services – are among the most fulfilling and happiest days of my life.

How nice to have a church that not just preaches, but actually practices, Christianity!

Donna Price

A manifesto from our friend Bishop John Shelby Spong

Friends of Walking With Integrity,

Perhaps many of you are already subscribed to "A New Christianity For A New World: Bishop John Shelby Spong on the News and Christian Faith." If so you received this note a few days ago, and perhaps shared it far and wide already. We hope that if you haven't, maybe now you will. As you may know, Bishop Spong is one of the most vocal and passionate advocates of LGBT people everywhere. So when this article came across our inbox well, we knew we had to share it. We do so by permission of Waterfront Media, Brooklyn, NY, Website www.johnshelbyspong.com.

Thursday October 15, 2009

A Manifesto! The Time Has Come!

I have made a decision. I will no longer debate the issue of homosexuality in the church with anyone. I will no longer engage the biblical ignorance that emanates from so many right-wing Christians about how the Bible condemns homosexuality, as if that point of view still has any credibility. I will no longer discuss with them or listen to them tell me how homosexuality is "an abomination to God," about how homosexuality is a "chosen lifestyle," or about how through prayer and "spiritual counseling" homosexual persons can be "cured." Those arguments are no longer worthy of my time or energy. I will no longer dignify by listening to the thoughts of those who advocate "reparative therapy," as if homosexual persons are somehow broken and need to be repaired. I will no longer talk to those who believe that the unity of the church can or should be achieved by rejecting the presence of, or at least at the expense of, gay and lesbian people. I will no longer take the time to refute the unlearned and undocumentable claims of certain world religious leaders who call homosexuality "deviant." I will no longer listen to that pious sentimentality that certain Christian leaders continue to employ, which suggests some version of that strange and overtly dishonest phrase that "we love the sinner but hate the sin." That statement is, I have concluded, nothing more than a self-serving lie designed to cover the fact that these people hate homosexual persons and fear homosexuality itself, but somehow know that hatred is incompatible with the Christ they claim to profess, so they adopt this face-saving and absolutely false statement. I will no longer temper my understanding of truth in order to pretend that I have even a tiny smidgen of respect for the appalling negativity that continues to emanate from religious circles where the church has for centuries conveniently perfumed its ongoing prejudices against blacks, Jews, women and homosexual persons with what it assumes is "high-sounding, pious rhetoric." The day for that mentality has quite simply come to an end for me. I will personally neither tolerate it nor listen to it any longer. The world has moved on, leaving these elements of the Christian Church that cannot adjust to new knowledge or a new consciousness lost in a sea of their own irrelevance. They no longer talk to anyone but themselves. I will no longer seek to slow down the witness to inclusiveness by pretending that there is some middle ground between prejudice and oppression. There isn't. Justice postponed is justice denied. That can be a resting place no longer for anyone. An old civil rights song proclaimed that the only choice awaiting those who cannot adjust to a new understanding was to "Roll on over or we'll roll on over you!" Time waits for no one.

I will particularly ignore those members of my own Episcopal Church who seek to break away from this body to form a "new church," claiming that this new and bigoted instrument alone now represents the Anglican Communion. Such a new ecclesiastical body is designed to allow these pathetic human beings, who are so deeply locked into a world that no longer exists, to form a community in which they can continue to hate gay people, distort gay people with their hopeless rhetoric and to be part of a religious fellowship in which they can continue to feel justified in their homophobic prejudices for the rest of their tortured lives. Church unity can never be a virtue that is preserved by allowing injustice, oppression and psychological tyranny to go unchallenged.

In my personal life, I will no longer listen to televised debates conducted by "fair-minded" channels that seek to give "both sides" of this issue "equal time." I am aware that these stations no longer give equal time to the advocates of treating women as if they are the property of men or to the advocates of reinstating either segregation or slavery, despite the fact that when these evil institutions were coming to an end the Bible was still being quoted frequently on each of these subjects. It is time for the media to announce that there are no longer two sides to the issue of full humanity for gay and lesbian people. There is no way that justice for homosexual people can be compromised any longer.

I will no longer act as if the Papal office is to be respected if the present occupant of that office is either not willing or not able to inform and educate himself on public issues on which he dares to speak with embarrassing ineptitude. I will no longer be respectful of the leadership of the Archbishop of Canterbury, who seems to believe that rude behavior, intolerance and even killing prejudice is somehow acceptable, so long as it comes from third-world religious leaders, who more than anything else reveal in themselves the price that colonial oppression has required of the minds and hearts of so many of our world's population. I see no way that ignorance and truth can be placed side by side, nor do I believe that evil is somehow less evil if the Bible is quoted to justify it. I will dismiss as unworthy of any more of my attention the wild, false and uninformed opinions of such would-be religious leaders as Pat Robertson, James Dobson, Jerry Falwell, Jimmy Swaggart, Albert Mohler, and Robert Duncan. My country and my church have both already spent too much time, energy and money trying to accommodate these backward points of view when they are no longer even tolerable.

I make these statements because it is time to move on. The battle is over. The victory has been won. There is no reasonable doubt as to what the final outcome of this struggle will be. Homosexual people will be accepted as equal, full human beings, who have a legitimate claim on every right that both church and society have to offer any of us. Homosexual marriages will become legal, recognized by the state and pronounced holy by the church. "Don't ask, don't tell" will be dismantled as the policy of our armed forces. We will and we must learn that equality of citizenship is not something that should ever be submitted to a referendum. Equality under and before the law is a solemn promise conveyed to all our citizens in the Constitution itself. Can any of us imagine having a public referendum on whether slavery should continue, whether segregation should be dismantled, whether voting privileges should be offered to women? The time has come for politicians to stop hiding behind unjust laws that they themselves helped to enact, and to abandon that convenient shield of demanding a vote on the rights of full citizenship because they do not understand the difference between a constitutional democracy, which this nation has, and a "mobocracy," which this nation rejected when it adopted its constitution. We do not put the civil rights of a minority to the vote of a plebiscite.

I will also no longer act as if I need a majority vote of some ecclesiastical body in order to bless, ordain, recognize and celebrate the lives and gifts of gay and lesbian people in the life of the church. No one should ever again be forced to submit the privilege of citizenship in this nation or membership in the Christian Church to the will of a majority vote.

The battle in both our culture and our church to rid our souls of this dying prejudice is finished. A new consciousness has arisen. A decision has quite clearly been made. Inequality for gay and lesbian people is no longer a debatable issue in either church or state. Therefore, I will from this moment on refuse to dignify the continued public expression of ignorant prejudice by engaging it. I do not tolerate racism or sexism any longer. From this moment on, I will no longer tolerate our culture's various forms of homophobia. I do not care who it is who articulates these attitudes or who tries to make them sound holy with religious jargon.

I have been part of this debate for years, but things do get settled and this issue is now settled for me. I do not debate any longer with members of the "Flat Earth Society" either. I do not debate with people who think we should treat epilepsy by casting demons out of the epileptic person; I do not waste time engaging those medical opinions that suggest that bleeding the patient might release the infection. I do not converse with people who think that Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans as punishment for the sin of being the birthplace of Ellen DeGeneres or that the terrorists hit the United Sates on 9/11 because we tolerated homosexual people, abortions, feminism or the American Civil Liberties Union. I am tired of being embarrassed by so much of my church's participation in causes that are quite unworthy of the Christ I serve or the God whose mystery and wonder I appreciate more each day. Indeed I feel the Christian Church should not only apologize, but do public penance for the way we have treated people of color, women, adherents of other religions and those we designated heretics, as well as gay and lesbian people.

Life moves on. As the poet James Russell Lowell once put it more than a century ago: "New occasions teach new duties, Time makes ancient good uncouth." I am ready now to claim the victory. I will from now on assume it and live into it. I am unwilling to argue about it or to discuss it as if there are two equally valid, competing positions any longer. The day for that mentality has simply gone forever.

This is my manifesto and my creed. I proclaim it today. I invite others to join me in this public declaration. I believe that such a public outpouring will help cleanse both the church and this nation of its own distorting past. It will restore integrity and honor to both church and state. It will signal that a new day has dawned and we are ready not just to embrace it, but also to rejoice in it and to celebrate it.

– John Shelby Spong

So, friends--what do you think? Have you written your own manifesto? Does this resonate with you?